


The Avengers: Hogwarts' Mightiest Jedi

by niennavalier



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Basically the Avengers are all Jedi at Hogwarts, Crack, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:02:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7496679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niennavalier/pseuds/niennavalier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Bucky Barnes had one thing to say, it was that Steve's worst idea ever was to hold a study session with all their friends in the Room of Requirement. The kid should've been able to see the trainwreck coming from a mile away.</p>
<p>AKA: The Star Wars/Harry Potter/Avengers AU no one wanted, and, yes, is just as ridiculous as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Avengers: Hogwarts' Mightiest Jedi

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a birthday fic for an IRL friend of mine, and yes, this was her literal request. No, that's not a joke. At all. Enjoy the insanity (I know I did).

     “Steeeve…” Bucky whined from where he lay across his boyfriend’s lap. “Why’d you set up this study session in here?”

     “Cause finals are comin’ up and Professor Fury is gonna kill us if we don’t do well?” Steve didn’t even look up from his textbook – _History of the Jedi Order_ – as he talked, and Bucky was _this close_ to slapping the dumb punk on the face to make him pay attention.

     “ _No_ , Steve – listen to me, would ya?” Bucky forcibly shut the book with a thud, smirking as Steve glared at him.

     “Buck! I was reading that!”

     “Oh, like you’re not gonna remember the page or somethin’. You’ve been starin’ at that thing the past ten minutes.”

     “Still,” Steve replied, petulant. “You know, just ‘cause you’re not studying doesn’t mean you can bug me.”

     “Hey, for the record, I would be studying if you hadn’t invited the whole damn peanut gallery.” Bucky gestured around the Room of Requirement – just a giant room filled with some random crap that they’d pushed into the corners. And…thank god Steve finally looked around.

     Actually, Bucky was pretty close to laughing at loud at the look on the kid’s face.

     Scratch that. He did laugh. But, in his defense, Steve totally deserved it. His eyes were blown wide, and Bucky could feel muscles tense beneath his head (granted, he wasn’t complaining about _that_ part, but that wasn’t really the point).

     “What’re they doing?”

     Bucky narrowed his eyes, cocking his head. “ _They?_ Which _they_? I’m pretty sure you mean everyone.”

     That wasn’t a joke. If it was, it’d be a one of those completely shitty jokes Bucky would not have appreciated at this point in time. But, given the group of losers they hung out with (no, Nat would _never_ learn he’d even thought of her as the giant nerd she was, because that definitely _did not just happen_ ), he figured it shouldn’t be a surprise. Really, he was probably more surprised that Steve was surprised.

     Bucky sighed and turned his gaze back to the pandemonium surrounding them, re-cataloguing it all before Steve responded. Back in the corner, Clint and Nat were sparring, dual blue blades crossing and re-crossing, sparks flying, and not just in the physical sense. Bucky couldn’t actually hear them from this distance, but he could just as easily imagine the two of them flirting – well, really it was Nat shooting off friendly insults, and Clint responding with stupid lines befitting of him. (Not that the guy was _actually_ all that stupid, but both he and Bucky we’re the same kinds of assholes who just enjoyed antagonizing each other whenever they were given the slightest chance.)

     Couldn’t really miss Thor there, sitting and watching from the corner, the gold and crimson handle of his lightsaber swinging back and forth with drunken laughter from where it hung at his waist, some ungodly amount of mead in his mug. Bucky made a mental note to ask just how the demigod had been able to sneak that past McGonagall; that kinda information would _definitely_ be coming in handy at some point.

     Turning away from the sight of Nat pinning Clint to the ground, which Bucky could only guess might (correction – _would_ ) turn into some kinda make-out session on the stone floor, Bucky reminded himself that, okay, Steve wasn’t the _only_ one studying.

     Bruce was sitting on the opposite couch, head engrossed in a textbook, and Darcy leaned into his side, eyes closed and earbuds popped in. Jane had apparently decided that the table was more comfortable to perch on, trying to read through her notes and chewing on the end of a quill, Pepper sitting at her side. And, for the record, no, Bucky didn’t have a problem with them. His main problem was with Tony Stark.

     Stark, who just couldn’t stop running off his damn mouth from behind Bruce with whatever stupid technical babble Bucky didn’t have the patience to try and understand. To be fair (which was quite a feat for Bucky, considering he was pretty close to killing the guy), he probably didn’t realize he was pissing off everyone in the general vicinity – or, at least pissing off Bucky. Bruce had the self-control to not let any annoyance show, other than a bit of tension in his arms. Jane, on the other hand, was clearly having a hard time not getting into the conversation herself. Bucky was trying his damnest to silently convince her via the Force _not_ to appease Stark. (Did it work that way? He didn’t have the slightest clue, but he could hope, right?)

     Much to his disappointment, it turned out it _didn’t_ work that way, and Jane was jumping into the argument – loudly, Bucky felt inclined to add, even if it was only to himself.

     He glanced back up at Steve. “You get what I mean?”

     Steve, for his part, was doing his best to not look entirely scandalized. “When did that –?”

     “Give it back!”

     The two of them both turned their heads at the yell. Bucky wasn’t sure about Steve, but he was just doing his best not to groan too loudly.

     A mad cackle ripped through the air, followed by a younger voice, “Don’t think so!”

     A disheartened Wade Wilson plopped down in the middle of the floor, watching the other boy swing across the room around him. “Peter…!” he whined.

     “Nope! You want your knife back, you’re gonna have to catch me, slowpoke!”

     “Fine,” Wade grumbled, plucking another knife out of his belt – for as annoying as the guy was, Bucky had to admit that the number of weapons he kept on his person was impressive – and hurling it through the air.

     The kid yelped as his “web”, as he liked to call it, was cut, and he fell to the ground with a scream as Wade pinned him down, wrestling. Bucky rolled his eyes. He’d observed these two more than enough times to know what was coming. Really, he had no idea how they’d ever even gotten into their little group. He hadn’t invited them, for sure. At some point he just started seeing Wilson showing up all the time.

     Would it be wrong to steal a time-turner to make sure he never met Wade Wilson or Peter Parker? Or at least make sure they never knew each other? At this point, he didn’t give a shit which one.

     “I want it back!”

     “No!”

     “Give it back!”

     “Not happening!”

     “I want it!”

     “I don’t care!”

     “Matt!”

     The last yell – screamed by both Wade and Parker – was directed by the last person in the room. Honestly, Bucky didn’t have a problem with Murdock; he just wondered why he ever chose to hang out with these two clowns. Actually, he’d heard rumors of some sort of…three-way…relationship…thing between them all, but he’d chosen not to take a side on that. On account of being too confused. So he just watched as Murdock didn’t even care to look up, answering smoothly, “What is it this time?”

     “Make Pete give me my knife back!” That was Wade.

     “Wade doesn’t know how to have a little fun!” And there was Parker.

     “Oh, I don’t know how to have fun _my ass_. I’ll show you fun.”

     “Look,” Murdock was talking again, unaware or uncaring of (Bucky wasn’t really sure) the impending rage building behind him, “I think you two are old enough to figure this out on your own. Settle your problems however you need to.” And he went back to…whatever it was he’d been doing before.

     As the inevitable fight broke out, Bucky turned his head back to look at his boyfriend. “Steve?”

     “Um, yeah?”

     “Our friends are idiots.”


End file.
